Funny dating ad examples
No mimes.""Bitter, unsuccessful middle aged loser wallowing in an unending sea of inert, drooping loneliness looking for 24 year old needy leech-like hanger-on to abuse with dull stories, tired sex and Herb Alpert albums. Must enjoy open-air activities and prefer spending time alone as a couple. ) and lets rumble on to the log slide of love to ride the ol skin boat to tuna town. Best ad I've seen today (by a man):"I love to clean, I know it sounds unusual but the reason I like to clean is I like to please.
Disembodied head in jar, 24, seeks pixie goddess to fiddle with while Rome burns. Must wear size five shoes.""Small lumpy squid monkey seeks healthy woman with no identifying scars, any age. Recommend appreciation of high-pitched, screeching noises. Gentle, middle-aged teddy bear with unfortunate flatulence challenge seeking olfaction-impaired ourdoors girl for good times and possible matrimony. Onto the bike, Beeyotch, grab hold (you know where!
so yeah if you would like to do that with me then like send me a message or something because i like have a lunch pass since i like live in the dorms and so i like eat chicken fried steak like everyday. And people who say they are funny usually are, right? Also: because my shoes are exactly one foot long on the bottom.
Because I need to meet you if you are who I think you are.
i like have a lunch pass because i like live in the dorms and so i like eat chicken fried steak like everyday. And they must have as a good personality and sense of humor and is willing to be there for me and others.
Although there's nothing inherently wrong with these sentences, you should avoid using them if possible, since so many other people have them on their profile.
And yet another short list of things that I’m not really fond of: – Cars (can’t tell why I put this one first…) – Self-centered people (but, hey…
Have you ever heard anybody saying “yes, yes, I am definitely self-centered.” So this one doesn’t really count!!
Soup is good food.""I like eating mayonnaise and peanut butter sandwiches in the rain, watching Barney Miller reruns, peeing on birds in the park and licking strangers on the subway; you eat beets raw, have climbed Kilimanjaro, and sweat freely and often. Rabid Wonder Woman fan looking for someone in satin tights, fighting for our rights and the old red, white 'n blue. Some willingness to assist with basic bodily functions required. *sigh*MWM, 73, looking for SWF 18-35 for an intimate encounter with my wife and myself in a threesome. The things she does with her teeth are out of this world, too, especially when their in her mouth.
) in search of bottlenosed dolphin and extra prickly cactus juice. No tongue."*******************************************************************If you want more, just let me know!!! here goes:"Neurotic midget with collection of warning labels seeks someone whose grave he can dance on after the Apocalypse. Look me in the eye and snap a z.""There is a little place in the jumbled sock drawer of my heart where you match up all the pairs, throw out the ones with holes in them, and buy me some of those neat dressy ones with the weird black and red geometrical designs on them.""Mmmm, Pez! SJM 27 wants to look someone in the eye so don't be tall. No freaks."****I think the last one is my favorite! seeking svelte, kinky sex vixen for impossible fantasy roleplay. Sure, her tits drag on the carpet till her nipples bleed and she had to lift them and her belly out of the way just to sit down, but she's beautiful. Phrases like this don't help you stand out and can be BORING to read after having seen them so many times.